Hindu Mommy

June 13, 2006

Murphy’s Laws of Parenting

Filed under: Funny,Parenting — hindumommy @ 11:21 pm
  1. A child’s greatest period of growth is the month after you’ve purchased new school clothes.
  2. An alarm clock is a device for waking people up, who don’t have small kids.
  3. Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.
  4. Anyone who says “Easy as taking candy from a baby” has never tried it.
  5. Cleaning your house while your kids are at home is like trying to shovel the driveway during a snowstorm.
  6. Grandchildren are God’s reward for not killing your kids.
  7. Gym clothes left at school in lockers mildew at a faster rate than other clothing.
  8. Kids really brighten a household. They never turn off any lights.
  9. Leak proof thermoses – will.
  10. Refrigerated items, used daily, will gravitate toward the back of the refrigerator.
  11. Shouting to make your kids obey is like using the horn to steer your car and you get about the same results!
  12. Sick children recover miraculously when the doctor enters the treatment room.
  13. The item your child lost, and must have for school within the next ten seconds, will be found in the last place you look.
  14. The chances of a piece of bread falling with the grape jelly side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
  15. The garbage truck will be two doors past your house when the argument over “whose day it is to take out the trash” ends.
  16. The shirt your child must wear today will be the only one that needs to be washed or mended.
  17. The tennis shoes you must replace today will go on sale next week.
  18. There are only two things a child will share willingly – communicable diseases and their mother’s age.
  19. Trying to dress an active little one is like trying to thread a sewing machine while it’s running.
  20. Your chances of being seen by someone you know dramatically increase if you drive your child to school in your robe and curlers.

 

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