Hindu Mommy

October 1, 2006

Fun Puns

Filed under: Funny — hindumommy @ 8:05 pm

 I really got a good laugh out of these…..

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent. 
 
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time , which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (Oh, man, this is so bad, it’s good)….
A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. 
 
Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was ….a salted. 


 
A dyslexic man walks into a bra. 
 
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:
“A beer please, and one for the road.” 
 
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: “Does this taste funny to you?” 
 
“Doc, I can’t stop singing ‘The Green, Green Grass of Ho me .”
“That sounds like Tom Jones Syndro me .”
“Is it common?”
“Well, it’s not unusual.” 
 
Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, “I was artificially inseminated this morning.”
“I don’t believe you,”says Dolly.
“It’s true, no bull!” exclaims Daisy. 
 
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either. 
 
Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before! 
 
I went to buy so me camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any. 
 
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, “Doctor, doctor, I can’t feel my legs!”
The doctor replied, “I know you can’t – I’ve cut off your arms!” 
 
I went to a seafood disco last week…and pulled a mussel. 
 
What do you call a fish with no eyes?  A fsh.
 
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says “Dam!”. 
 
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too. 
 
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is na me d “Ahmal.” The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him “Juan.” Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds,   “They’re twins! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Ahmal.” 
 
A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.” 
 

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4 Comments »

  1. On the religious joke side: I’ve met the enlightened dyslexic cow (says “omm” instead of “moo”) and the geek who entered nerdvana.

    Comment by Daijinryuu — October 1, 2006 @ 9:12 pm | Reply

  2. @Daijinryuu – like ur puns 🙂

    Comment by hindumommy — October 3, 2006 @ 8:27 pm | Reply

  3. Thank you, dear friend. Namaste.

    Comment by Daijinryuu — October 5, 2006 @ 1:57 pm | Reply

  4. Another: Man who falls in vat of molten glass makes spectacle of himself. Got it from the Techo tamogotchi on Mystery Island at Neopets.com…

    Comment by Daijinryuu — October 8, 2006 @ 7:57 pm | Reply


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