Hindu Mommy

March 28, 2007

Top 21 Things Indians say when they return to India from the U.S.

Filed under: Funny,Indians in US — hindumommy @ 11:02 pm

21.Tries to use credit cards in a road side hotel.

20. Drinks and carries mineral water and always speaks of being health conscious.

19 .Sprays deodorant so that he doesn’t need to take bath.

18. Sneezes and says ‘Excuse me’.

17. Says “Hey” instead of “Hi”, “Yoghurt” instead of “Curds”, “Cab” instead of “Taxi”, “Trunk” of “Dicky” for a car trunk, “Candy” instead of “Chocolate”,”Cookie” instead of “Biscuit” , “got to go” instead of “Have to go”.

Says “Oh” instead of “Zero”, (for 704, he will say Seven Oh Four Instead of Seven Zero Four)

16. Doesn’t forget to complain about the air pollution. Keeps complaining every time he steps out.

15. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilo Meters), and counts in Millions. (Not in Lakhs)

14. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as possible (but deep inside multiplies by 44).

13. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk pocket.

12. When he needs to say Z (zed), he never says Z (Zed), instead repeats “Zee” several times, and if the other person is unable to get it, then says X, Y Zee(but never says Zed)

11 . Writes the date in MM/DD/YYYY. On watching traditional DD/MM/YYYY, says “Oh! British Style!!!!”

10. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and the Indian Road Conditions.

9. Even after 2 months, complaints about “Jet Lag”.

8 . Avoids eating spicy food.

7. Tries to drink “Diet Coke”, instead of Normal Coke. Eats Pizza instead of Dosa.

6. Tries to complain about any thing in India as if he is experiencing it for the first time. Asks questions etc. about India as though its his first visit to India .

5. Pronounces “schedule” as “skejule”, and “module” as “mojule”.

4. Looks suspiciously towards any Hotel/Dhaba food.

Few more important ones:

3.. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of the Airways by which he traveled back to India , even after 4 months of arrival.

2. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India and tries to roll the bag on Indian Roads.

1. Tries to begin any conversation with “In US ….” or “When I was in US…”

March 16, 2007

Pictures taken at the right angle

Filed under: Funny — hindumommy @ 12:36 am

Here are some really cool pictures….I don’t know who took them but they sure must have spent a lot of time to get just the right angle

(more…)

March 9, 2007

Munnabhai and Circuit jokes

Filed under: Funny — hindumommy @ 12:33 am

With the trailers for the 3rd Munnabhai movie making the rounds, I thought I’d share some more jokes that I heard recently…

Circuit: Bhai america mein address puchega tho kya bolne ka
Munna: Dhobhi Ghaat
Circuit: Bhai english mein bolneka tho?
Munna: Washington

🙂

Circuit: Bhai idhar aane ko kya bolna
Munna: Come Here

Circuit: Bhai phir udhar jaaneko kya bolthe hai?
Munna: Pehle udhar jaaneka phir bolneka come here.

Circuit: Bhai yeh kaisa bolne ka – chale hat hawa aane de
Munna: simple hain yaar – Hey u move sideways let the air force come in.

 🙂  🙂

Circuit: Bhai tum tho pass ho gela bhai
Munna: Yes bro i have just passed away

 🙂  🙂  🙂

Munna: Abhi tu bol eh mamu bheja mat phira
Circuit: Mother’s brother dont rotate my brain

🙂  🙂  🙂  🙂

Munna: Yeh bol idhar aa khajhur detha hun karcha pani {kajhur yaane date}
circiut: Come with me for a date i will pay you

🙂  🙂  🙂  🙂  🙂

Munna: Ab yeh bol apun ko bahut sardi ho gayi hai
Circuit: I got big winter in small nose

🙂  🙂  🙂  🙂  🙂  🙂

And more further enjoyment, here’s a link to more Munnabhai jokes.

March 4, 2007

Gita Updesh for the modern world :)

Filed under: Funny,Hinduism,India — hindumommy @ 4:42 pm

February 28, 2007

Funny video on traffic in India

Filed under: Funny,India — hindumommy @ 10:19 pm

After I posted on the different driving styles, I found this video on Youtube.

I have no idea which city in India this was shot in and it’s obviously fast forwarded but still hilarious and amazing how the traffic keeps moving without a single accident inspite of the apparent total choas

Enjoy 🙂

February 26, 2007

Different Driving Styles

Filed under: Funny — hindumommy @ 5:29 pm

Driving Styles …

One hand on steering wheel, one hand out of window. – Sydney

One hand on steering wheel, one hand on horn – Japan

One hand on steering wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator… – Boston

Both hands on steering wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror – New York

Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat – Italy

One hand on horn, one hand on holding gear, one ear listening to loud music, one ear on cell phone, one foot on accelerator, one foot on clutch, nothing on break, eyes on females in next car, – Welcome to INDIA!

February 14, 2007

I am thankful…..

Filed under: Funny — hindumommy @ 2:45 pm

I was having one of those “not so good” days when I got this email forward and thought I’d share it since there is DEFINITELY a lot to be thankful for each day even when we don’t feel we have much to be thankful for….

I AM THANKFUL….

FOR THE WIFE WHO SAYS IT’S HOT DOGS TONIGHT,
BECAUSE SHE IS HOME WITH ME,AND NOT OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE. 

FOR THE HUSBAND WHO IS ON THE SOFA BEING A COUCH POTATO,
BECAUSE HE IS HOME WITH ME ND NOT OUT AT THE BARS.  

FOR THE TEENAGER WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING DISHES
BECAUSE IT MEANS SHE IS AT HOME, NOT ON THE STREETS.

FOR THE TAXES I PAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM EMPLOYED.

FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY
BECAUSE IT MEANS FRIENDS HAVE SURROUNDED ME.

FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.

FOR MY SHADOW THAT WATCHES ME WORK
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM OUT IN THE SUNSHINE

FOR A LAWN THAT NEEDS MOWING, WINDOWS THAT NEED CLEANING,
AND GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE A HOME .

FOR ALL THE COMPLAINING I HEAR ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT
BECAUSE IT MEANS WE HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH. .

FOR THE PARKING SPOT I FIND AT THE FAR END OF THE PARKING LOT
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM CAPABLE OF WALKING AND I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH TRANSPORTATION.

FOR MY HUGE HEATING BILL
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM WARM.

FOR THE LADY BEHIND ME IN CHURCH WHO SINGS OFF KEY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I CAN HEAR.

FOR THE PILE OF LAUNDRY AND IRONING
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE CLOTHES TO WEAR.
 
FOR WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES AT THE END OF THE DAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN CAPABLE OF WORKING HARD.

FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFFIN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM ALIVE.

AND FINALLY, FOR TOO MUCH E-MAIL
BECAUSE   IT MEANS I HAVE FRIENDS WHO ARE THINKING OF ME.

Live well, Laugh often, & Love with all of your heart!

January 5, 2007

New Drugs for Women

Filed under: Funny,Women — hindumommy @ 11:02 am

 I got this message about the new drugs that are being invented for women. They sound helpful 🙂

I’ve got to check with my insurance – I really need a prescription to DAMNITOL and ST. MOMMA’S WORT. 😀

Here is the list of new drugs:

Be careful….To be taken only under doctor’s prescription. Side effects are unknown at this point

DAMNITOL : Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

EMPTYNESTROGEN: Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn’t wait till they moved out.

ST. MOMMA’S WORT: Plant extract that treats mom’s depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.

PEPTOBIMBO: Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.

DUMBEROL: When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

FLIPITOR: Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

MENICILLIN: Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, “You make me want to be a better person. ”

BUYAGRA: Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.

JACKASSPIRIN: Relieves headache caused by a man who can’t remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.

ANTI-TALKSIDENT: A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.

NAGAMENT: When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him.

December 27, 2006

Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?

Filed under: Funny — hindumommy @ 7:57 pm

A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: “Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?”

The survey was a huge failure.

The reason:

In Africa they didn’t know what ‘food’ meant

In India they didn’t know what ‘honest’ meant

In Europe they didn’t know what ‘shortage’ meant

In China they didn’t know what ‘opinion’ meant

In the Middle East they didn’t know what ‘solution’ meant

In South America they didn’t know what ‘please’ meant

And in the USA they didn’t know what ‘please’ meant, And ALSO what ‘the rest of the world’ meant!!

December 26, 2006

An fun way to refresh your brain cells

Filed under: Entertainment and Books,Funny,Self Improvement — hindumommy @ 10:24 pm

..and maybe gain some new knowledge while you are it

Here is a link to a cool site that you can visit when you have some free time (if you are at work and work is slow with it being the holiday week or you are just at home and goofing off on the computer)

Keep going till you get

CONGRATULATIONS!

GREAT JOB!!

You have completely solved the FreeStuffHotDeals Hacker Puzzle! Be sure to to send a personal message to BinkelBop and tell him “Woody” to prove that you did it.

Or if you need help just holler to me in the comments section

Have fun !

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